24 Hours.

The poet Rilke said about a self-portrait, “He reproduced himself with so much humble objectivity, with the unquestioning, matter of fact interest of a dog who sees himself in a mirror and thinks: there‘s another dog.” I’m not sure what it means - I’m guessing something about people who are less enthralled with themselves than I am - but it inspired me to go to Philadelphia by myself last week, as an experiment.

My hypothesis is that I’m in love with myself. And to prove that, I needed to spend time alone with myself.

It occurred to me that I have never been alone for a whole 24 hours. And I don’t even mean like cabin in the woods, my best friend is a squirrel, Ted Katzinsky kind of alone.

I just mean hang out by myself, sunrise to sunrise - no coworkers, no friends and lovers, no acquaintances casual or intimate.

So I packed my weekender - a giant green thing that’s seen its share of shenanigans - booked a nonrefundable hotel room, fought through snow, wind, fire, and orcs / hopped on the Chinatown bus, and spent the weekend in Philly.

Here are some of my reflections:

9 degrees is fucking cold.

Drinking alone in a gay bar is kind of sad.

Drinking alone in an Irish bar is kind of impossible. Someone inevitably talks to you.

Taking pictures of yourself is super hard.









Donovan McNabb is a controversial figure.

Overheard conversation on the bus: “Ohmygod, isn’t Fatosh weird? Like, he’s sooo indescribably weird! Like, he is so weird, I can’t even describe it.” I need to stop talking like that.

I have embarrassing taste in music. As I was getting into my seat on the bus to Philly, I drop my phone/mp3 player, the earphones yank loose, and the entire bus is regaled with Michael Buble. Embarrassing.

HBO is awesome. I had it in my hotel room, and I almost didn’t make it out the door after I checked in.

Chinatown buses are awesome. Only $30 bucks roundtrip to Philly!

Chinatown buses suck. They overbook their buses and are rude about it!

I'm a lot more timid when I don't have enablers around me.

I miss my buddies.